stopshoulding

Here I am on Saturday two weeks before Christmas, feeling stressed out. There are just so many things to do. I found myself wondering why I felt so busy and stressed, really I don’t have that much to do. But, there is this built in sense, particularly for women, that we are supposed to be busy making this holiday time special. We may get caught in ‘should’ thinking, like ‘we should be doing something special’ or ‘I should buy more gifts so that my kids have a special day’. Yes, there are special events at this time of year that one may want to take advantage of, and I am certainly all for getting out and doing things. You cannot do it all though. And trying to do it all may be making you ‘crazy’, causing you stress or financial strain. Are you present in the moment if you are worried about whether it’s good enough or we are doing enough?

What thoughts come to mind for you? What are the holidays ‘supposed’ to be? What is it that you really want- for yourself, from others? When you feel stressed, ask yourself ‘What is going through my mind?’. I bet there are some should’s or supposed to’s in there. Who says how things are supposed to be or should be? You have choices.

Think about what this time of year means to you. What do you value about it, is it time with family, spiritual or faith filled or celebrating your blessings from this year? Being clear what it really means to you may help you clarify what will make it special, meaningful and nourishing to you. Will more presents or cookies bring that meaning or will stopping to care for yourself or spending time with your loved ones create the real magic, joy and peace that you probably seek.